Comments on: What can I do if I′m being abused or neglected?

By: Nathan

Nathan — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:19:07 +0000

My dad is really mean to me…he always hits me and calls me and my brother names (im 17 and my brother is turning 14 in 2 months) My mom really wants us to move in with her. I love it at my mom’s. Except my dad won’t let me go. A week ago my mom got an order of protection against my father for us. but he lied and fought in court and now were back with him again. my mom is going to talk with her lawyer soon about just switching custody. Will this work?
Dear Nathan: Yes, your Mom could obtain custody over you by explaining the situation to a judge. Your Dad will have the right to oppose it and present his side to the judge as well. Then, the judge’s job is to consider all of the evidence, which may include your statement, before deciding what’s best for you and your brother. The court’s responsibility is to make a decision based on the best interests of the child. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).

By: Jhonathan

Jhonathan — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 21:45:16 +0000

Yeah sorry if Ive done this twice but my dad really doesn’t know to quit abusing and neglecting me already like. The other day a police man came to our house and my dad told a complete lie saying that me and my little brother always play video games and do nothing around the house. But me and my brother always do everything around the house and the reward we get is food. He never gets us clothes school supplies always never has money for his kids but yet he has money for pickup trucks. I don’t wanna call the police because I’m too scared what he might do to me or the national abuse hotline. His name is Ricardo P Garcia he lives in 207N 800W Orem,Utah 84057 please help me I’m desperately needing help ASAP.
Dear Jhonathan: We are very sorry to hear about your circumstances. You need to immediately talk to an adult you trust about your circumstances at home. This may be another relative, a friend’s parent, teacher, school counselor or church member. They will be able to help you. It’s extremely important that you and your little brother are not in a dangerous situation or abusive household. If you call the National Child Protective Services hotline, you can report any abuse or neglect anonymously and your dad would not know what led to CPS investigating the living situation at your house. Here is the phone number: 1-800-422-4453. Please take care of yourself and your little brother. Talk to an adult you trust or call the number above.
(This is information only – not legal advice.)

By: Maria

Maria — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 23:08:20 +0000

Hey my name is Maria nd yeah I know one of my friends is struggling with his stupid dad. Like his dad always picks on him nd his little brother nd my friend at school always tells me that he wants to move with his mom. Since he always protects his older son nd not his youngest nd plus he threatens him that hell take him to the military. When really I think his dad should just either go to jail or not allowed with his kids. Screaming at him for stupid things like once. When I came over his dad try talking to me but I dont like his dad because of how he treats him. Nd plus his whole family treats him like crap so what should I do to help my friend oh I forgot one last thing his dad use to spank him with the belt naked or with a stick please help!!!!
Dear Maria: Perhaps your friend could try sitting down and calmy talking with his dad and his mom, either together or separately, about how he feels and how he would like to live with his mom. If everyone agrees to this arrangement, then there shouldn’t be a problem. But if there are court orders in place giving custody to his dad, then his parents would have to go back to the court to get the custody orders modified. If your friend believes he is being abused or neglected, he needs to call Child Protective Services at 1-800-422-4453. You may want to encourage him to talk to an adult he trusts about the situation whether it’s your parents, a school counselor or another relative. Take care and good luck to your friend.
(This is information only – not legal advice.)

By: Liz

Liz — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 06:57:31 +0000

My 8 year old nephew often returns home from his fathers house with bruises and fat lips. He says that he is just wrestling with his 14 year old step brother and that is how he gets the bruises.. He did confide in me once that a bruise on his back was from when his step mother when she tried to make him go downstairs and he pulled away from her and hit his back on the fridge. Almost every time He comes back to his mothers house he has bruises, a fat lip, or hemorrhage marks on his arms and this concerns me. His mother takes photos of the bruises and is also concerned about him but she has not called cps. She has informed the father but he says boys will be boys. I’m not sure if this is just considered roughhousing among siblings. I have three kids of my own and they rarely ever leave bruises on each other after roughhousing. Am I being overly protective of my nephew or should I call cps myself if his mother won’t? I don’t want to cause unnecessary drama but I am concerned about my nephews welfare at his fathers house.
Dear Liz: You have a right to be concerned about your nephew’s welfare. An occasional injury on a child is normal, as you know. But repeated injuries are reason to investigate further. We can’t tell you what to do or how to proceed, but keeping the child’s welfare first and foremost in mind is key. An investigation by the police and/or Child Protective Services may get to the bottom of what, if anything, is happening when he visits his father. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).

By: Jhonathan

Jhonathan — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 00:08:12 +0000

Yeah my dad is always neglecting me like he doesn’t even care bout me or even love me. Like he always picks on me calling me fat and all this plus he always screams at me for no reason. Another thing is he doesn’t even buy me the things I need he only buys the things that he likes. Also he always says ti me go with your mom it’s like he doesn’t want me there. Plus when he says he loves me he doesnt mean it nd when I do nice things for him he never smiles at me or says thank you. But sure to my big brother he does it nd he always has money for pickup trucks but never for his kids. Like my mom is the only person that actually buys me clothes and everything and he doesn’t nd especially my mom really has no money because she’s in debt unlike my dad which has alot.
Dear Jhonathan: We’re sorry to hear of your situation at home. Maybe you can talk calmly with your Mom & Dad about living with your Mom. If he’s serious when he tells you to go to your mother’s home, maybe you can reach an agreement that’s satisfactory to everyone. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).

By: Vanessa

Vanessa — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 00:22:15 +0000

My uncle is currently divorcing his wife of 6 yrs. she was cheating on him and then she ran off with him and left their 2 kids and my uncle…now I don’t have a problem with that but I do have a problem with her now boyfriend. See my uncle has 2 little girls ages 3 and 5. and the smaller one says that the man touched her and that he hurt her down there. She is 3 so Im pretty sure she is not lying also the oldest one says that the man touches her mommy in front of them and that he hits and screams at her. My uncle is scared to call cps because he fears that he wont get to see his children again (he is not the abuser) please help any kind of advice will help. (houston Tx)
Dear Vanessa: We’re glad you’re looking out for the welfare of these young girls. Assuming the girls are telling the truth, this guy should not be with them especially when no one else is around. Touching them in a sexual manner is just the beginning. Someone has to notify the police or Child Protective Services to put an end to this. Either you, their father or both of you can report this. Your uncle may also want to speak with a lawyer who practices family or juvenile law. He can go to court and obtain an order of protection against the boyfriend that prevents him from having any contact with them. Many courts around the country offer free legal advice to the public by lawyers who donate their time. You can contact your local court and ask about this program. Good luck. Do whatever is necessary to protect these girls.
(This is information only – not legal advice).

By: Damonica Bond

Damonica Bond — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 13:51:17 +0000

iam a 14 year old teen , ive been malested b my god father , beat on by my grandparents and im currently with my mom who beats me , she threatens to kill me and beat me and put me in a foster home , my real dad is trying really hard to come rescue me but she wont let him , im scared for m safety and i dont know what to do , she still beats me , m older sister abuses me to and doesnt get in trouble my mom takes her side , ive been stressed out and depressed and ive attempted suicide because i hate it hear , is there any way the police can escort me from the house to where my dad can come get me so i can be safe and happy again ? someone please help me
Dear Damonica: No one has the right to abuse you – physically, psychologically or sexually. If you’re in danger you should report what’s happening to an adult you trust such as a teacher, school counselor, parent of a friend, relative, or the police or Child Protective Services. There is help in these situations but you have to ask for it. Someone has to be aware of what’s happening to you at home. You can call the national ChildHelp line at: 1-800-422-4453 anytime of day or night. The same goes for 911. Whatever is going on, Damonica, we care about you and so do a lot of other people. Suicide is not the answer. The Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. This is a confidential resource for you to get help and LIVE. Your life has just started and it will get better for you. But you must speak out and not keep everything to yourself. All the best, Damonica.
(This is information only – not legal advice).

By: Eileen

Eileen — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 15:12:27 +0000

My granddaughter, who is now 10 years old, refuses to see her father. She claims she has been sexually abused, but no one seems to believe her. She now has her own attorney, her mother and father each have their own attorney. My granddaughter has seen the judge, who does not believe my granddaughter. She refuses to go to school on the days her father is picking her up from school. I have been to my daughter’s house on these days and have tried to convince her to go to school. She is to meet her father, along with her paternal grandmother at a public place three times. When her grandmother picks her up, she does not take my granddaughter to the public place where they are to meet. This was set up by the judge. I don’t know where to turn for help.
Dear Eileen: We suggest that you pass this information on to your granddaughter’s lawyer. He or she needs to know what’s going on so she can be properly represented in court. Her attorney’s job is to look out for her best interests and advise the court of her position regarding custody and visitation. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).

By: Sydney

Sydney — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 04:50:43 +0000

My parents recently got a divorce and my dad and I have always had a dysfuntional relationship, so I wanted my mom to have full custody of me. When they got divorced I didn’t talk to the judge that day because they would have just kept arguing about it if I did and they wouldn’t be divorced. So now I am required to go to my dad’s place every other weekend. I went this weekend and i decided to just ignore him completely because every time we talk, we’re arguing. I was sitting on the couch listening to my ipod ignoring him. He got mad and starting yelling at me but I didn’t pay attention. I just turned up my ipod. He then starting screaming at me louder. Then he yanked my headphones off of my head and threatened that he was going to throw it away if I continued to ignore him. I forcefully put my headphones back on and continued to ignore him. He leaned in again towards me like he was going to pull them off again or even hit me, so I leaned back into the couch dodging him. And I yelled for him to leave me alone and to stop. He finally did, but I was scared afterwards. I went outside and called my mom and talked to her about it. I cried when I was trying to tell her about it. I am afraid of him and I don’t want to go over there anymore. He’s never really cared about me. I believe he just doesn’t want to have to pay any money. That’s why he’s keeping me. Is this considered abuse or neglect? I have plenty more to tell but I don’t want to be a burden. Thanks.
Dear Sydney: We’re sorry to hear about your situation and how you’re feeling. While physical abuse is easier to define, emotional and verbal abuse are not as clear and even the courts may struggle to define when such abuse is occurring. It’s good that you tell your mom about these events and when you feel uncomfortable or scared. Perhaps you could also try speaking with a school counselor. Maybe if you tried sitting down and calmly talking to your dad about how you feel, he would understand where you’re coming from and make more of an effort to have a good relationship with you. Keep in mind that it goes both ways and if your dad is willing to make an effort and try to make things better, you will have to meet him in the middle by also making an effort. If you’re uncomfortable talking to him, you could try writing him a letter and again, calmly and respectfully explain to him how you feel. Finally, if you’re in fear of your safety and don’t know what to do, you can call the National Child Service Hotline at 1-800-422-4453. Take care and good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice.)

By: Ashley

Ashley — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 05:14:54 +0000

Im 19 years old and living with my mother and 12 year old brother. My mother is an alcoholic and it never used to be bad but a couple months ago it started getting so bad that I cant even consider her my mom anymore. She is seeing someone for help but will never admit she even drinks even when I catch her doing it and when I do she gets mad. Now I understand that I am perfectly capable of leaving, and if it werent for my brother I would, but I refuse to leave my brother. Due to her alcoholism, I have basically raised my brother, I consider him my son. I want him to be out of this sitution because she doesnt seem to want to get better or help herself, so my only option is to make his life better. The thing is if I call child services, im scared that they will take him away completely and put him in a foster home, and he has said he would rather stay and deal with mom than be taken away from me, he said that he either lives with me or he stays with mom. But im so worried about him. My mother has a histery of suicidal episodes, she neglects to feed him or give him his adhd medicine if im not there, she does not take care of any of her responsibilities, and she often has episodes of going completely crazy and breaking down on the floor for hours screaming and crying beforw she passes out. He shouldnt have to go theough this but I dont want to gi against his wishes. Is there anything I can do to make sure I get custody?
Dear Ashley: We’re sorry to hear about you and your brother’s situation at home. Perhaps you and your brother could try to calmly talk with your Mom and let her know how her choices are negatively impacting your brother. Maybe if she understands the extent of how your brother is affected by her behavior, she will try to make some changes. If your mom agrees to your brother living with you or another adult, the two of you could move to a different household. You and your brother also could document as many specific instances of mistreatment (abuse and/or neglect), so that you have clear examples to present to the police and Child Protective Services. CPS would work to place your brother with another relative first including you (if you can support him and yourself). The number for the National Child Protective Services Hotline at 1-800-422-4453. Take care of yourself and best of luck to you and your bother.
(This is information only – not legal advice.)